Co-incidence

I usually didn’t believe in coincidences and thought that everything that happens, there is a reason behind it. The Almighty has the screenplay and assigned roles to us. There are no coincidences in scripts. Everything is very well written in the book of fate for each one of us. But I was proven wrong on that day. It was a usual Friday evening and I was returning home for the weekend. I, an engineering student, stayed in college hostel and visited my place on weekends which were 80km from the city where the college was situated.

It was a normal routine for me to board the 7pm bus to Badri Nagar which would reach there by 9pm. On that day also, I was waiting for the bus to come and excited to go home after the semester exams. These exams are very exhaustive, 10 days and 5 subjects, seems like running in a sprint at the speed of marathon race. After 30mins waiting for the bus, the conductor announced that the bus will be late by 2 hours and it will depart at 9:30PM. The already waiting passengers were furious over the conductor and asking for cancelling the ticket. The poor soul had to face the anguish of the waiting passengers who were demanding refund of money. For me, it was fine to reach late as my home was a walk able distance from the bus stand. The only thing that worried me was that how to spend this 2 hours.

The minutes hand was placed on number 2 and seconds hand was racing with itself to complete the minute quickly. It was still 20 minutes behind the timeline and it seemed that the seconds hand will decide the fate of minute’s hand. The earphone was plugged in and the soft music of AR Rehman was playing in my playlist. Suddenly, someone tapped on my shoulder to get my attention. I looked towards my left and was amazed to find a beautiful angel standing there with a confused look on her face. I removed the earplug, asked her “yes?” “Will the bus to Badri nagar come on this platform?” she inquired. My eyes were stuck on her soft lips that were moving like rose petals shining with red lipstick. The sense of vision had overpowered all other senses and it seemed I have seen the most perfectly shaped face ever created by God. She again asked the same question and a shudder on my shoulder woke me up from my dream.

“Yes, it will reach here by 9:30” “You are also waiting for the same bus?” was here instant question after my reply. I nodded my head and tried to hide my blush thinking that she will be my co-passenger till the same destination.

The bus reached and there was jostling of people to get into as it was the last bus for the night. Also, being a Friday night the count of people almost triples, everyone heading towards their home. I asked the conductor for a ticket to Badri Nagar but he replied that all the seats are already booked. I always had the habit of purchasing ticket after boarding the bus and never did prior reservation. In this way, I saved some money that was charged in the name of reservation charges. My smartness backfired me today when I was in the dire need to reach home. I was also losing the opportunity to travel with such a beautiful girl which is a rare occurrence in state transport buses. I requested the conductor to give me the aisle seat which is a special arrangement to accommodate heavy rush by putting bench in the aisle. He denied the availability of any seat and left me dejected.

Everybody boarded the bus and the driver started the engine ignition with a loud sound. There the fuel was burning in the engine and here my heart was burning for not getting any means to reach home. “Hey Boy! Hey you, black T-shirt” someone shouted from behind. I turned around to see that the conductor was calling me. I retraced back towards the bus with the tiniest of hope to get a seat.

“There is a seat available. You need to pay extra 50 bucks for it” said the conductor. I pulled out my wallet, handed him the ticket money with extra 50 bucks and asked for the seat. He pointed me towards the third row seat, which are reserved for ladies. I walked towards the seat stamping on people sitting on the aisle and finally conquered the quest. The light was very dim and I was unable to see who was sitting beside me. In the darkness, I strained my retina to get the last ray of light to look at the adjoining seat. The light from outside helped me to identify my co-passenger and the moment I saw her face, I was overjoyed. She was that girl who inquired about the bus at the bus stand.

I thanked the director sitting somewhere behind the clouds and writing such a fateful night for me. The mistress sitting next to me was just looking outside the window and only interested in the dark scenery. But I was interested in her, wanted to socialize with her. I was only waiting for to move her glare away from the window so that I can start a conversation. I, being a shy person, had problems in talking to strangers or start a conversation with them. But here I was trying my best to at least ask her, where in Badri Nagar she stays?

The bus was hitting the road in full speed and it seemed that we will reach in less than an hour. In the hope of her looking at me, I didn’t knew when I closed my eyes and went to deep sleep. I was woken up by a shuddering on the shoulder by the conductor. “Get up, Badri nagar is the next stop!” he exclaimed. I hurriedly corrected my posture and checked the time in my mobile. It showed 11:47PM and my eyes were asking for more sleep. They were deprived of it for last 15 days and today they were not ready to compromise for suffering. I looked towards the window and observed that the beautiful girl was also in deep sleep and in the process put her head on my shoulder. In my effort to recollect my posture, she was disturbed but it didn’t wake her up. I allowed her to get comfort, no matter for a short duration, and rest her eyes.

The fragrance from her reminded me of Sonali, my first crush in college whom I tried to convey my feelings but lacked the self-confidence. I used to sit diagonally behind her so that I could stare her throughout the lecture. Once during the college fest, we participated in dance competition and she was my partner in salsa. Those 2 weeks of practice and the day of competition were the most memorable days spent with her. We used to talk like normal friends but I never gathered the courage to express my love for her. Although we didn’t win the competition but we got close to each other that we used to sit together in the class. Whenever she used to sit with me, I could never concentrate on the lecture since I was mesmerized by the intoxicating smell of the perfume she wore. In the bus also, the same intoxicating smell was taking back to those days which Sonali and me spent together.

“Badri Nagar, Badri Nagar!” shouted the conductor and the bus stopped with a screeching noise by the sudden apply of brakes. She woke up by the impact of the bus stopping and looked at me, sheepishly saying “Sorry”. I smiled back and got up from the seat to collect my back kept overhead. We got down from the bus on lonely street of Badri Nagar. The watch was displaying coming together of both the minutes and hours hand over 12 and the street lights were casting parallel shadow of two of us on the deserted street.

“Where do you live?” I gathered my courage and finally asked something from her in the last 3 hours.

“Near Namkini Lake” she replied without a sign of fear in this dead night. “Oh, great, I also live ahead of lake. Don’t mind I can walk with you till the Lake?” I swiftly replied in order to spend some more time with her. She nodded in agreement and we walked headed for our destination. None of us spoke while walking, and our silence was disturbed by the growling of dogs in the dark lanes.

My mind was fabricating topic to start to talk to her. Whether should I ask her name or something else? In all the cases, she might think that I am hitting on her and I didn’t want to portray myself any flirt guy in front of her. A sudden thought came to my mind about Namkini Lake. It wasn’t any lake there but our grandmother used to tell stories that there used to be lake whose water was very salty. So it was named as Namkini Lake and now it has dried up. This thought was also worrying me that people used to say that nobody lived around the lake.

In no time we reached at the lake and my mind was still fighting whether to ask her where exactly she lived. I looked at her to ask but was interrupted by her question. “When did you die?” This sentence baffled me and a drop of sweat dropped from my forehead towards the chin travelling through the nose. We were standing in front of a graveyard with rusted iron gate and a board reading ‘Do not visit here after the dark’ and due to this graveyard, nobody used to stay around the lake area. She smiled at me and repeated the same question “When did you die?” a gentle blow of wind was blowing hair away from her face and I was able to see bruises on her face due to scratching on hard surface.

“I died two months back, hit by a state transport bus while going on bike to college. And you?” I replied to her query.

“What a coincidence? Me too. While crossing the road” she replied with those petal shaped lips.

The Last Oppurtunity

“Oh, my head seems to be heavy. It feels like I am drowning”. Ajay was feeling uncomfortable and it looked like he gained consciousness after a long time. He was coming back from his friends’ birthday party and riding his pulsar down the lonely road. He loved to ride on deserted roads which were a rare occurrence for him for the last three years in this city. He was cautious enough to ride within the speed limit and was very well versed in traffic etiquettes. Often on weekends, Ajay with his friends went on bike rides to new places. It was his hobby to travel and explore the beauty of nature away from the hustling city life. The peace and sereneness around would give him joy which would rejuvenate him and prepare him for the challenging toll of office work. But this feeling was pinching him at the back of his head and the pain travelled down the spine till his waist. The pain became unbearable for him so he thought to remove his helmet. He was unsuccessful in the attempt and the agony was mounting over him. It felt like his skull is going to burst out and he also started to gasp for fresh air. He couldn’t see clearly what was going around since his eyes were moist that blurred his vision. Slowly he was able to listen that there were people humming around. He opened his eyes to the maximum content as if it would pop out. He guessed it right; he was surrounded by spectators who were looking at him with fear and shock. He was looked upon like an alien species which bewildered the people with amazement. He asked a gentleman to help him get off his helmet which was adding to his misery. But none of them came forward to sympathize with him at the time of despair.



Somehow Ajay was able to look clearly around him. He was astounded by the situation that has been created there and the chaos that people had created. He first looked at the pavement where a car had rammed the railings and the entire bonnet explained the impact of collision. He couldn’t stand on his feet but was trying his best to analyse the scenario. It seemed an accident took place and the car was involved in it. He tried to rewind the incident that took place after he took a right from the last signal but was not able to recollect his thoughts. The last thing that was in his mind was the honking of the car horn as if the driver was in a hurry to reach his destination. That horn was still blowing at some corner of his mind and stressing upon the order of events that took place later.


His thoughts were interrupted by the siren similar to police cars and ambulance. He looked at the other end of the road and saw a police jeep and an ambulance approaching him. He was there at the middle of the road and he feared that these vehicles will run over him so he tried to move away but was helpless. With the car approaching him he was shouting for help but with no assistance from the crowd. The ambulance stopped in front of him making a screeching sound. He thanked lord for saving him from getting run over by an ambulance in the middle of the road. He sensed two men coming towards him but he ignored them and was looking at the smashed car. He was seeing an exorbitant model for the first time because it is very difficult to find such imported car on these roads. Must have been owned by some affluent person, he thought in his mind. He had been fond of cars since childhood and had collection of all the latest hotwheels before any of his friends.


After investigating the situation around he heard someone saying that there has took place an accident where the car parked over the pavement had hit a motorcycle carrying a couple crushing people on the footpath and later rammed into the railings surrounding the pavements. These words hit him instantly and he realised Priya also left the party with him requesting him to drop her home. He was reluctant at first but on request from Priya herself, agreed to give her a ride to her home. Priya and Ajay have been working together for past 2 years and they were like any colleagues working in the same team. But Ajay had soft corner for her and liked her. He considered Priya to be the best match for him. He tried to convey his feeling for her many times but due to lack of confidence and fear, he couldn’t say it. Priya, on the other hand, was very much impressed by Ajay’s smartness and quick decision making abilities at the workplace. She admired him a lot but Ajay, being a senior to her; she couldn’t express her feelings to him. His friends helped and backed him to go ahead and ask her out for coffee but Ajay couldn’t gather the courage to talk to her apart from work related matters. Priya also tried to give hints but it ended up hitting the wrong guy.


He got anxious and slowly the entire picture was visible in front of his eyes. For the first time in last two years, he was missing Priya. Never ever he was worried for her before as he was now. His eyes were searching for her in the crowd, those beautiful brown eyes which meant life for him. He was trying to sense the aroma of her that made him crazy every time she passed by his desk. He was regretting that unfortunate moment when he agreed to drop her to home. She would have been safer with her friends who would drop her after the party. He regretted every moments that gave him opportunity to share his feelings with her. He thought that he has lost her forever. The sound that her anklet made when she walked was striking his ears. He thought his entire life have become useless without her. He couldn’t express his desire to her and he had to repent it for the entire life.


Suddenly his eyes saw something which shook his ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes and was rubbing it again and again to have a clear picture of the scene. He was baffled at what he saw that made him cry from the bottom of his heart. The tears were flowing down his eyes as if they were stored there for a long time. He saw Priya sitting beside a corpse and crying holding its head. He tried to visualize the face of the dead person and was stunned for a moment. It was his dead body lying on the road in the pool of blood and Priya was trying to stop the blood flow from his head using her dupatta. Ajay realised that the blow he got on his head was due to him hitting the divider on the road and he went unconscious. The case became worse due to lack of medical attention and excess of blood loss was reason for his death.


His mind brought the incident right from the moment he took a right turn from the signal in front of him. After taking a right turn, he dropped Priya and she bid her goodbye. He had that moment to say his feelings but short of words. The only words that he could say were “Priya, today you looked very beautiful. Good bye and take care.” Who would had thought that it would be the last goodbye and Ajay was to leave this world forever. He took a U-turn and was passing the same signal when a speeding car hit his bike and lost control. The car went over the pavement crushing three labourers sleeping there and rammed into the railing. Ajay’s speed was minimal but the impact was so strong that he was thrown 8 foot above the ground and while landing his head hit the divider at the middle road leaving him bleeding. Priya was heading towards her lane when she heard the bang sound. She ran towards the road to find Ajay bleeding profusely and shivering for life. In no time, the accident had interrupted the sleep of people around the locality and everybody moved out of their home.


Ajay was still in grief looking at Priya trying to get the last hope of life out of his body but was unsuccessful. It was the first time he realised that Priya also loved him to the same extent he loved her. Priya was shouting at Ajay’s body but with no response. She kept on repeating the words “Ajay, I love you. Please come back for my sake. Don’t leave me alone”. He wanted to say those same words to her but couldn’t say anything. He screamed from the bottom of his heart, “Priya, I love you, too. I always loved you and will love you for the rest of my life”. “Life is what I am short of now. O Lord, you can’t do this to me. Why me? Please give me one more moment of life so that I can tell her how much I loved her”. He kept pleading to god there in middle of the road.


Ajay was sweating and was completely drenched as if it had rained. It was very unusual to sweat in the month of January but it seemed the humid July. His throat was dry and felt like squeezing the last drop saliva from his mouth. He felt a jolt and could find complete darkness around. He could sense the sweat drops dripping from his forehead. He extended his hand to get the waterbottle just to find that it was empty. He then touched his head at the back to check the injury but didn’t find anything. He picked up the mobile to check the time and it was 2:49AM. It was four hours more for his alarm to snooze and get himself ready for office. A smile of relieve came on his face when the thought of office came to his mind. Yet another day with Priya but this won’t be that any day. At that moment of time, he promised himself to express his feelings to Priya first thing in the morning. He was no more intimidated by the outcome. He realized that the dream had given him the chance to fulfil his wish that he had withheld for a long time. He moved towards the fridge, gulped some water and went to sleep thanking the lord for opportunity he had provided Ajay.

Life of An Incompetent Software Engineer

INTRODUCTION

Incompetent: Not having the necessary skills to do something successfully.

While sitting at my desk and going through the vocabulary pdf, I came across this word which grabbed my attention and made me think about it. It defines a lack of skills that helps one to stand out among a group of equally competing breeds. I wasn’t interested in the dictionary meaning of this word but the thing that rang the bell of my thought process was me. Every time I pronounced this word, I visualized myself standing submissively amongst some third world ghostly creatures. It seemed that I was their prey and they were waiting for their master’s order to attack me.

But a tap on my desk woke me up from my nightmare and it was my boss who was standing there asking for the update of the day. His fiery eyes were spilling blood and fire was gushing out his nostril. “How much of code is complete Rohan?” he again asked but I was deaf ears to his question and lost in my own wonderland full of angels and daemons.  I have been listening to this question for the last 3 years and 8 months but yet not been able to find the answer. “How much of code is complete?” I believe I won’t be able to answer this question in the next 38 years as I have never seen any code being developed here. 

3rd March 2009 is the date when I first walked into this dream job which I wish to get during my college days. Every engineering student wants to get associated with a reputed and famous IT company that pays a handsome salary and offers a great working environment. I also had the same wish and wanted to achieve something big in life. Every year when the seniors used to get placement, it filled me with a feeling of passion to accomplish my dream job. This desire helped me get that job and I got placed in the first company that visited our campus. I was overjoyed and satisfied to climb the first step of the corporate lifestyle.

But it is truly said that Reality is stranger than fiction. All the hope and expectations that I had before joining as a Software Engineer was an illusion in my subconscious mind.  The truth was bitter than it was expected. Rather it had some very unpleasant visuals to show that differentiates itself from delusion. My five-month stint at the Mysore campus where I met some true and everlasting friends and the love of my life played a crucial role in shaping the bitter part of reality. A single child, who has never been away from home, had to live independently on his own and look after himself. Over 12 hours a day of hardship in computer labs and completing the training and those endless moonlit nights having chit chats with my lady, left a memorable impression on my mind. Today also when I remember those days, I get nostalgic and wish it would come back again. Those bright days were a deception that hid the nightmarish life that was waiting outside that training campus. 

A very famous Bollywood dialogue says that ‘You never forget your first love’ and this applied in my case also. Only the difference, it wasn’t my first love but my first project in Pune. That was the second step to climb and I was now on a journey of corporate nirvana. I got ditched by my girlfriend and later was hospitalised which constituted my journey on this path. These were minor hiccups on the personal front but the real hurricane came when I was denied the opportunity that every software engineer work for and wanted to achieve earliest in his life.

In the forthcoming chapters, I have tried to give words to the life that I have lived since the day I was a part of this rat race running blindly to achieve nothing. I have tried my best to be humble and honest but if my writings have hurt anybody or are not according to the rule book, I apologize for the same.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change

My First Crush

"Rahul, eat your breakfast! Don’t go without finishing it..." shouted Mrs.Khanna. This was her daily routine of convincing her son to eat his breakfast before leaving the house. But Rahul was busy combing his hair, trying out new hairstyles so that he can look smart today.
Yes, he wanted to look smart today so that she could notice him and he can at least wish her 'Happy Birthday'.
"Why are you in a hurry today? Your bus is at 7:30 and its still 15 minutes..."
"No Mom, I don’t want to get late today" exclaimed Rahul while wearing his shoes which were shining like those shown in Cherry Blossom commercial. He polished them last night as he learned somewhere that a true gentleman is identified by his shoes. He wanted look like a true gentleman today.
"Ok bye mom!!!See you in the evening" bidding goodbye to his mother, Rahul left in a jiffy.
He was very happy today as he would be the first person to wish her 'Happy Birthday'. On the way from his building till the bus stop, he was remembering every good thing about her. The way she used to say Good Morning with her rosy lips. The fragrance she had took him to another world. The strand of hair that would disturb her and how beautifully she used to keep it over her ear.
He was successful in his first plan which was to get the front row seat in the bus which was her commonly used seat. He was eagerly waiting for his Dream Lady to come and sit beside him. Every morning he didn't miss any opportunity to sit with her so that he can cherish that 25 minutes’ drive for the complete day. He used to curse the weekends as he couldn't get the chance to fulfill his desire to spend those 25 minutes with her.
Slowly the bus was getting filled and he didn't allow anybody to occupy that reserved seat for his Lady. Those waiting period seemed liked ages for him and his eyes were constantly glued towards the door.
But finally his perseverance paid and she was climbing the steps of the bus. With every step she was taking his heartbeat would go louder. The maroon sari she was wearing was complementing her white skin and it seemed she got fairer than yesterday. The earrings were dancing in some rhythmic tune which could make anybody go mad. The bracelet in her right hand was sliding up and down her beautiful forearm with flawless skin.
She saw the seat beside Rahul and walked towards him. The flow of his blood was stronger than the mightiest river of the world. With that red rosy lip she said him "Good Morning". That sweet voice of her broke the dam which was withholding his anxiety and in excitement he couldn't utter a word. A smile came on his face as his second task was accomplished, she sitting with him today. As usual she tapped on his head disturbing the neatly combed gel applied hair. But he didn’t mind since it was all done for her.
His heart was pumping blood at a really high level and this gave him the little courage to speak what he wanted to say her. He turned toward her and with a meek voice he expressed his words "Happy Birthday, Gunjan Ma'am!"

"Thank you Rahul!!!How did you know it was my birthday today? Nobody in the class knows it. From where did you get to this information about your teacher???" she enquired.
Yes, She was his drawing teacher, his first crush whom he liked from the first day she entered into the classroom and the interest he showed in that subject which seemed so boring to him earlier. His interest in drawing got him selected in inter school drawing competition for under-9 from that region.